Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Dumb Blonde Jokes


Q: Why do blondes take the pill? A: So they know what day of the week it is.

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up? A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.


Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? 
A: Because she got an "F" in sex. 

Q: What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? 
A: She sticks it in the microwave! 

Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear? 
A: Data transfer.

Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? 
A: A wind tunnel. 

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'. 

Q: What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? A: Air Pockets 

Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A: A blonde parade. 

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath? A: She still hasn't gotten all the hair off her tongue. 

Q: What goes: vroooom-schreech, vrooom-schreech, vroooom-schreech? A: A blonde at a flashing red light 


Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms. 

Q: What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? A: Siamese twins 

Q: What do you call an eternity? A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop. 

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? A: Toes Go In First. 

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms? A: They think their picture is being taken. 

Q: How can you tell a blonde has used your computer? A: There is white out on the screen.

Q: How do you kill a Blonde? A: Put a Scratch 'n Sniff at the bottom of a pool. 

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved. 

Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore? A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too. 

Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Tape a mirror to the bottom of a pool. 

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Give her a gun and say it's a hair drier.


Q: What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? A: They drowned in Spring Training 

Q: Why were there 6 bullet holes in the blondes mirror? A: She tried to kill her self  

Q: How can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator? A: By the chipped tooth.  

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run like hell, she has a grenade in her hand. 

Q: How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree.
  

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